Expectations

Last week while I was in the classroom, I couldn't help but think of the words of Ruth Charney's text, Teaching Children to Care as I observed the students and reflected upon my own management.
Reading a text on management has been very beneficial for me so far, as I have attempted to evaluate my own management and attempt to implement the framework Charney suggests. One main point Charney wrote about in one of her chapters was the fact that as teachers we need to say what we mean to say - and then make sure our actions meet our words. In relation to this she discussed the importance of not allowing students to avoid participating in an activity or ritual they are expected to participate in. If there has been an expectation established within the classroom, or you as the teacher has said something to the effect, "if you do not work silently we will have to work at separate desks for the rest of the day." yet the student still buzz quietly and there is no consequence of separate desks - it is clear that you either did not explain your expectation of "silently", or you let the quiet buzzing slide, and your words were not followed by action.
I want to be a consistent teacher, in what I say and how I act within the classroom. I do not want to allow students to slip out of participating in activities they are expected to. They need to learn how to cooperate within the classroom expectations and it is my responsibility to hold them each accountable.
With these thoughts swirling into my mind, I entered the classroom Thursday morning. Mrs. Thomsen allowed me to lead share circle, a routine which I have recently led most mornings I am in the classroom. At share circle the students sit in a circle and the teacher (me in this case) goes around the Circe and greets each student by name saying, "Good morning ____" the student is to reply, "Good Morning Miss Mallos", I respond by asking, "What would you like to share today?" The student can then choose to share any event/idea/thought/happening/wondering of their choice.
On Thursday I came to a student who had nothing to share. It is my belief that there is always something to share, and that to build community and trust it is important for every child's voice to be heard. I can't remember the specifics of my prodding- whether or not I asked, "what did you do last night" or "can you tell us..."; but I do know that I said, "Ok well you think of an idea and I will come back to you."
After I said that statement, I mentally knew I had to remember to come back to that student. My words needed to match my actions, I wanted to be consistent. I didn't want to allow the student the opportunity to back out of an expectation I value.
As I went around the circle though, many students shared but a handful of students said, "you can just come back to me." I suddenly realized by allowing one student that opportunity, it seemed I had made it an option for the entire class- which is fair, yet students were using it as an excuse for not having an idea ready when I came to them.
Once I had heard "you can just come back to me" from a few too many students I simply said, "remember everyone, we are supposed to have an idea to share when we come to share circle each day, I would really like for you to share something with me, so if you haven't shared yet...please get an idea ready for when I come to you."
After I had gone around the circle, I made sure to check in with the students who I said I would come back to. I was glad I remembered to check in with those students again, I honored what I said I would do- and some of them had something to share. A few still passed.
I knew though, that I had made the option of passing and coming back acceptable, and really it isn't part of the expectation. So, I ended share circle by stating my expectations for tomorrow.
I told the class, "I really enjoy our time to share together in the mornings. I will be back on Tuesday morning, that is four days until I see you again! I want everyone to share with me and the class on Tuesday morning, so please have an idea ready when you come to share circle. I don't want to have to come back to anyone, it will be much faster and we will have more time to share if each person shares when it is there turn!"

Tomorrow I am going to remind students of this expectation before I begin share circle, and I will even give them 30 seconds or so to think of an idea, prompting them with "think of what you did after school, what you did last night, did anything happen on the bus or at breakfast this morning? What about your weekend?" etc...
I really dislike the feeling of trying to figure out how to respond to students who don't have anything to share - I will try this strategy tomorrow and for now I am focusing on making sure whatever I say--- I follow up on.